This meditation will stretch your heart.

Many people pray for world peace, but are also annoyed with someone at work. Many have empathy for victims of a flood or hurricane, but can’t get along with their neighbors. Many are professional caregivers, social workers, or nurses, and at the same time are angry with politicians or can’t stand their in-laws. 

Most of us carry the disappointments, resentment, and anger tied to the people we blame for our difficulties and struggles. Here’s a simple way to soothe, stretch and lighten that load.

Create a quiet space for yourself – a five-minute window – and try this simple exercise. 

Think of someone you love, unconditionally without a shred of doubt. This person might be a partner, a family member – child or parent, someone close and dear to you. As you imagine that person, see their face or sense their presence, look inside and be aware of the feeling of love in your gut, around your heart or wherever that feeling is strong. Breathe into that space and say these words with each breath:
o May “your person’s name” be happy. 
o May “your person’s name” be peaceful.
o May “your person’s name” be free from all suffering.
Repeat three times and enjoy the experience.

Next, think about someone you like. You have good feelings about this person although they are not as close to you as the loved one. This could be a co-worker, a teacher, a person at church or maybe the friendly clerk at the corner store. As you imagine this person, notice the shift in the body sensation. It is clearly not the same feeling for the person you love without condition. There is no need to name this different sensation – just notice the shift. Now breathe into that space and say these words with each breath:
o May “your person’s name” be happy. 
o May “your person’s name” be peaceful.
o May “your person’s name” be free from all suffering.
Repeat three times and enjoy the experience.

Now think about someone who is now or who was in the past, a problem for you. This could be someone in your office who got a position you wanted, your brother in-law who owes you money, or a former lover who is now dating your roommate. Notice the shift in your emotion. Where there was love and warmth, now there is pain, tension or sadness. It may seem that the peace, quiet and calm that was there a moment ago has now been shattered, replaced by the noise and stress of negative feelings. Is it possible that the peace and calm are still there, hiding beneath the anger and negativity? Can you remember that this person is also a fellow human being, who is also struggling, needy or hurting? See what happens when you again breathe into that space and say these words:  
o May “your person’s name” be happy. 
o May “your person’s name” be peaceful.
o May “your person’s name” be free from all suffering.
Repeat three times and consider this as a small act of forgiveness. 

Also consider this … if this person was happy, peaceful and free, they might be less likely to behave in an inconsiderate or selfish or hurtful manner in the future. Here’s another way to think about those you blame or hate. 

Our former vice-president, Dick Cheney, is perhaps the ultimate symbol of a man driven by a lust for power, fearful of everything that is not under his control, with an unchecked willingness to use others for personal gain, without regard for their well being. Cheney is not happy, peaceful or free. It is probably easier today to pray for Cheney to receive the punishment he deserves than to exercise compassion. Try it anyway (perhaps with an asterisk):
o May Dick Cheney be happy *. 
o May Dick Cheney be peaceful *.
o May Dick Cheney be free from all suffering *.

* While serving his sentence for war crimes and other transgressions against the Constitution of the United States.

There are two remaining steps in this exercise: one abstract and one very personal.
Imagine all people, all creatures, all living things, big and small. Consider the interdependencies of all the many life forms, which share the planet and its resources. I suppose if your beliefs allow it, your thoughts might extend beyond this planet, to the universe – that’s up to you. Try to let go of global politics, religious barriers, your feelings about out-sourcing, or your memory of a rude waiter you encountered at a restaurant while vacationing in France. Keep it simple, breathe deeply and say these words:
o May all beings be happy. 
o May all beings be peaceful.
o May all beings be free from all suffering.
Repeat three times and notice what comes up for you as you consider a planet at peace.

The last step needs little explanation. We have all heard at some time, that it is difficult to love others if you do not love yourself. In this step, take a moment to relax the mechanisms of introspection and self-analysis. Consider that at the root of your being, there is quiet, there is warmth, there is the energy of you. As you come in touch with that place, at the center of your being, breathe deeply and say these words:
o May I be happy. 
o May I be peaceful.
o May I be free from all suffering.
Repeat three times, or three hundred times. It’s up to you.

I did not make up this process. About thirty years ago, I first learned about and practiced Insight Meditation. I attended several classes in the Boston area, and two 10-day retreats at the Center in Barre, Massachusetts. The exercise described in this article is a variation of a practice called metta, which I learned then and carry with me today.